Homesickness vs. Reverse Culture Shock

Germans live to work!

Most Germans live a very pre-programmed life: It starts with school, then education in form of an apprenticeship and/or a study. And the rest of work life one will work endless hours to build a career, build a house, pay taxes, save into the retirement plan, and think of all the things one wants to do after one will be retired. This was pretty much us.

Canadians (and most other people not German) work to live!

At one point we asked ourselves, is this it? Are we going to continue slaving away until we can’t no more? We wanted something new, exciting, exhilarating. So, that’s why we left for Canada. We built up a new life, and it worked well. Living abroad for us meant dealing in a foreign language in our everyday life. We learned something new every day, it was challenging but in a good way and full of enriching experiences. And Canada was good to us. Not only were we successful professionally, but we also managed to make wonderful new friends and felt integrated into society. And we lived greatly! All was going well. So, why change this perfectly good life? 

Homesick!

Eight years is a long time. For Sonja Canada was home, the mountain view and the ocean breeze alone would simply make her feel glad to be alive. But Roland was feeling increasingly discontent. Frustration was sneaking up upon the homesickness affected. Suddenly he increasingly started noticing negative things happening around (the annoying neighbour, the traffic, the weather... the list became endless). He became unable to appreciate and enjoy the beauty anymore, and ended up making a mountain out of every molehill. He felt lonely and alienated, and started suffering from depressions. It was contagious, and also began affecting our relationship. Hence, the only cure for homesickness was actually returning home to Germany.

A Stranger at Home

The irony of it is, that while Roland was instantly happy to be home again, Sonja had started feeling disengaged, irritated and depressed for a long while until finally realization, re-adjustment and adaptation kicked in. (well, she’s actually still working on it...)

In the first months of our return we both felt out of place. We reconnected with friends and family but everything previously familiar seemed to feel different, not because they had changed, but our experiences had changed us more than we thought. We had gone through a roller coaster of feelings. Similar to the process of grieving we went through sadness of leaving Canada, to anger over the friggin’ German bureaucracy, to acceptance through the familiar faces around, and having a regular work life again.

As a repatriate one has to be prepared that friends and family might not care much about how you feel upon your return. Some of them might not even have overcome why you left the country and your safe jobs in the first place. They will just be glad to have you back in their unchanged reality.

Naturally, we sought other traveling folks who we could relate to (the internet is the perfect tool for such). It is however not always beneficial to exchange experiences with other repatriates as it might fuel unwanted Fernweh (the yen to travel), or Wanderlust as the English speaking world puts it. But talking to people who will likely understand provides an helpful outlet. 

Culture without the shock

Exploring the local culture, architecture and history certainly helps a lot. Well, there is this, and there is our motorcycling and scootering, too. The roads are great and the Black Forest offers a pretty scenery, plus is geographically a perfect spot to re-visit some of our most favourite countries such as France, or Italy, and discover some new territory in Eastern Europe. We have also made plans to rediscover the four corners of our native country. Germany has a coast, too, you know. 

We are going to make the most out of it, that is until the travel bug bites again, and if hard enough, might catapult us in a completely different world again. It’s not over. Not for a long time! Life is good!

Sonja & Roland - December 2013